Sometimes You Just Have To Get Over Yourself

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we tend to talk about "going back."

Going back to who we used to be.

Going back to what we used to do.

Going back to a time when life felt a little simpler.

And I get it. There are definitely things I miss about different times in my life.

But the more I think about it, the more I wonder why we're always looking backward.

Maybe we're not supposed to go back.

Maybe we're supposed to keep moving forward and see who we become.

That thought has been on my mind a lot as I've been working on the next chapter of BraySam Lane.

BraySam Lane started in March of 2006, shortly after my son was born. He was my inspiration, and I started on eBay along with my sister making boutique-style diaper cakes.

I can still hardly believe that was twenty years ago.

A lot has happened since then.

BraySam Lane has changed.

I've changed.

And there was a stretch of several years when I stepped away from BraySam Lane completely so I could focus on my son. I was lucky enough to be in a position where I could make that choice, and at that point in my life, that's exactly what I wanted to do.

Then, as life tends to do, things changed again. My son was off to college and I found myself with all of a sudden a lot of free time.

And eventually I started thinking about BraySam Lane.

At first, I think part of me wondered what it would be like to pick it back up.

But I didn’t really want to pick it back up.

I wanted to take it forward.

There's a difference.

I didn’t want to recreate the BraySam Lane of 2006 because I'm not the person I was in 2006.

I've learned a lot since then. I've tried things. I've changed my mind. I've discovered new things I love creating. I've had ideas that worked and plenty that didn't.

And all of that gets to come with me.

That's the part I really like about growing older.

You don't have to throw away the old version of yourself, but you don't have to live there either.

You get to take what you liked, what you learned, what mattered, and build something new from it.

That's what I am doing with BraySam Lane.

The diaper cakes were the beginning and I really enjoyed creating them but they didn’t have to be the definition.

Neither does anything else I've done along the way.

I'm really enjoying figuring out what BraySam Lane looks like now.

The puzzles.

The ornaments.

The recipe keepsakes.

The wine glass charms

All the ideas I've been dreaming up.

And now this part of it, too, the little thoughts, the recipes, the cozy things, and all the other little pieces that don't necessarily fit neatly into a shop but still feel like something I want to do.

I don't know exactly where all of this is going…..I kind of like that.

I don't think we're supposed to spend our lives trying to get back to some earlier version of ourselves.

Life doesn't work that way.

We're always changing.

Always learning.

Always adding another layer.

So maybe the goal isn't to go back.

Maybe it's simply to keep moving.

To keep growing.

To keep creating.

To see what happens next.

Twenty years ago, I had a baby boy, an idea, and an eBay account.

Today, I have twenty years of life, experience, ideas, the support of my husband and son, and a whole lot of things I want to try.

I'd say that's a pretty good reason to keep going.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Forward.